I need to be accommodated. For so long, I’ve been shaping, exhausting myself to fit others’ needs. In part, it’s what led to my downfall. Accommodation isn’t an option anymore, it’s a need. And no one else is going to do it for me, so I have to do it for myself. I can’t rely on other people to do it for me.

I told him once, “PTK is a lot of things, but it’s nothing worth killing yourself over.” I meant it literally, because the context was literal. Yet I should have taken my own advice. Half a year later, I have betrayed and destroyed myself for nothing, all because I didn’t take my own advice.

PTK, school, honors, people, friends, boyfriends, work, grades, awards — these are many things, but they’re nothing worth suffering for.