Now, on top of everything else, I have to process and deal with a break up. This is going to be difficult, because I really loved him and I relied on him emotionally a lot. The last part is probably a bad thing, I know. Still I’ve lost someone I loved, and I’m going to have to grieve and cope with that loss in addition to the others. I fear I will be tired from this, but the work must be done. There are times when I don’t want to get better, when I just want to self-destruct because it’s easier and so familiar — but I’m also so tired of being tired and so tired of suffering needlessly, endlessly. I want to be normal. I want to be okay. I just need to work on so many of my flaws, then maybe I’ll be okay again. The journey begins and continues.