With this level of sleep deprivation, I’m barely paying attention to anyone or anything. I’m surprised that I was able to mask and go to school and pretend to be completely fine for a whole day like this. No wonder I burnt out; no wonder I was always anxious. I was pushing myself into a nervous breakdown, thinking I could make it to the end of the semester as a mentally well, successful student. Every work day, the moment I woke up, I was so anxious. Instead of taking it as the warning sign it was, I ignored it and pretended it was normal and fine. Of course, it was normal — for me then, but for any other version of me, it would not have been.