“Let me sleep / I am tired of my grief.”
Yesterday was hard. I was at once angry, anxious, and depressed, but the depression bloomed most in the end. I cried in bed as I tried to fall asleep. After the tears dried, I just distracted myself until 01:00 or 02:00. I fell asleep once I was tired enough to not think too much.
I still feel the weight of it all though. I’m tired and have very little “in” me. I was planning to go to McKinney, but I don’t think I have it in at all. I’ll just pull money for the car, maybe fuck around in town center or the library to see if that will help my mood. We’ll see. One step at a time. Right now the next step is getting out of bed. But I’m so tired. I just want to sleep all day. I don’t know why this week has been so hard. I don’t know why everything is hard for me.