The problem I’m grappling with and kinda grieving of is WHY - why am I so afraid and distrusting of men? Whydo I only feel safe in relationships with men when there’s a distance and unspoken but defined rules to that relationship? Why am I so paranoid and closed off to basically everyone? Why I am so afraid of the world?
I just don’t understand why. If I knew why, I think I would feel better and then maybe I could start working on feeling safer. Until then I’m just stuck feeling upset and afraid.